Okay, tumblr, I need your help. I’ve seen things like this get thousands and thousands of notes, and I really think that this is a cause worth sharing.
This couple is an elderly couple that live in my small town in Canada’s smallest province. They both suffer from dementia and for the last 55 years, they’ve sent out Christmas cards to everyone in their neighbourhood. They’re both in a home now, and their son is doing a little project. The woman, Bev, her favourite movie is A Miracle On 34th Street, and she especially loves the part where the christmas cards come in by the hundreds. Her son is trying to get that to happen for her.
It would make this lady’s Christmas to get the hundreds of Christmas cards from all over the world. I think we owe it to this kind soul to come together and give her a Christmas miracle. If you would like to send a Christmas card, their information is;
Don and Bev Enman, C/O Summerset Manor
15 Frank Mellish Street
Summerside, P.E.I. Canada
Please reblog this and spread the word, guys. There’s also an article here x if you want to read more about them.
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Reblogging because there are some sassy little shits out there.
Is that the weather report?
Everyone knows we get lesbians every goddamn year, and yet every time they arrive people act all shocked. “I’m not ready for lesbians yet! I haven’t put lesbian tyres on my car!” Lady, it happens every year. You were warned beforehand. It’s your own damn fault if you end up in an accident because you weren’t prepared for lesbians.
seriously. so tired of being late for school just because the subway can’t handle lesbians. it’s norway! what do they expect
On the bright side, learning institutions will close in their droves as nations shut down due to the overwhelming presence of lesbians.
:sigh: But you have to make up lesbian days at the end of the school year…
I’ve been waiting for lesbians ever since the weather turned cold. I was promised 5cm of lesbians and DID I GET ANY? NO I DID NOT. Oh sure, there are lesbians up on the hills, but where’s my gorgeous carpet of lesbians, huh?
I don’t know how to make the Yuletide gay in these conditions. :(
I just got hearing aids for the first time in my life.
I now hear all the things.
I don’t know weather to cry or attempt to hug music somehow.
I heard what my mum actually sounds like. Jesus fuck.
I can hear the neighbors having sex.
This was a mistake.
that one of the man on the train is actually from an old movie.
^ it still happened why to heckie would that make a difference
HAHAHA GUESS WHAT SCIENTISTS JUST FOUND A PLANET THAT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO EXIST AND THEY CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW IT WAS FORMED FUNNY HOW IT HAPPENS RIGHT AFTER THE 50TH
for fucks sake the image is even colored like gallifrey
"When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day, when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first in his life. She told him that he would have to go outside himself and find a switch for her to hit him with.
The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.”
All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone.
And the mother took the boy into her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because if violence begins in the nursery one can raise children into violence.”
why are girls expected to go through an experimental lesbian phase but u never hear about dudes goin gay for a while whats up w/ that
cause that would be realllllly weird, unlike girls doing it. guys actually like when girls do it.
do me a favor and staple all your fingertips together
When artist David Jablow found a vintage 60′s notepad called Do It Yourself Doodler, complete with what appeared to be the unfinished drawing of a nude woman on each page, he couldn’t help but dive in and complete each one with hilarious results.
Like a fantastic Mad Libs for artists, the suggestively drawn woman, missing her breasts and butt, was obviously intended for more naughty vintage purposes, but Jablow had a better idea. He completed each page of the book with scenes straight out of the pulp fiction pages of the past, including bar room brawls, fist fighting sea divers and Hollywood starlets.
You can now buy a version of the book on Jablow’s site and start doodling away yourself.
does it come with the pizza
I refuse to believe Fox News is real anymore.
Women shouldn’t be valued because we are strong, or kick-ass, but because we are people. So don’t focus on writing characters who are strong. Write characters who are people.
Disney Princess edition
I think I fell in love with whoever did this. Seriously. I try to tell this to people all the time. Disney ladies aren’t all the same.
So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.”
And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.
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